For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video While our grandparents may have died from being shot in the chest point blank, thanks to new advances we don't have to live with that fear. Dr. Good and his team have the cure! Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion